What to Do When You're Robbed by Ninjas (part 3)

每日一讀(下)---What to Do When You're Robbed by Ninjas

今天來把這篇搞笑的故事看完吧~猜猜那個說要上大學的忍者下場如何呢？對了，我發現翻譯果然要隔一段時間再檢查，否則真會醜態百出啊~~

"Are you OK?" he asked.

「你還好嗎？」他問。

"So far," I said.

「目前為止都還好。」我說。

"Do you know these people?"

「你認識這些人嗎？」

"No."

「不。」

He asked a number of additional questions. Since we had already established the basics, they struck me as superfluous. I was being robbed.

他又問了我別的問題。當然根據我先前的回答，這些問題根本是多餘的。我被搶劫了，就是這樣。((在影射誰呢？xD

Annoyed and frustrated, I turned to the bad robber and held out the receiver.

這個警察搞得我惱怒又無奈；我轉過身把話筒拿給拿小刀的壞蛋。

"It's for you," I said.

「找你的。」我說。

I just couldn't deal with the cop anymore.

我就是沒辦法繼續和那個警察糾纏。

"It's OK, we know her," I heard the robber say. "She owes us money."

「沒事，我們認識她，」我聽到那個搶匪這麼說：「她欠我們錢。」

Then he handed the phone back to me. He looked just as irritated with the cop as I was. Neither of us wanted to talk to him.

然後他把話筒拿給我。他現在看起來就像我被那個警察弄得不耐煩一樣。我們都不想跟那個警察說話。

"Hello?" I said.

「喂？」我出聲。

"Do you know him?" the cop asked.

「你認識他嗎？」那個警察問。

"No."

「不。」

"Do you owe him money?"

「你欠他錢嗎？」

"No."

「沒有。」

"Are there weapons?"

「他們有帶什麼武器嗎？」

"Yes."

「嗯。」

All of a sudden we heard a helicopter hovering overhead, and the house filled with bright light from its spotlight. All I could think was that the police were going to shoot through the glass and I was going to have to pay for it—in more ways than one. "There is a way out of here, out the back and down the hill," I told the robbers. So they took off one way, and I went upstairs.

突然間，我們聽到直昇機在上空盤旋，探照燈打亮整棟房子((這也太離譜了吧!!。但我能想到的是那些警察打算開槍射穿所有玻璃然後我要負擔所有的損壞---還不只這一項。於是我告訴那兩個搶匪：「有條路可以從這裡出去。在後面，到山丘下。」他們也就離開了，我則走上樓。

There were cops everywhere. I told them the robbers had scrambled down the hill and that they didn't have guns. I didn't want them shooting anyone—especially the ninja going to college. He seemed like a nice kid.

這邊到處都是警察。我告訴他們那兩個搶匪早就匆忙跑下山了，而且沒帶槍。我不希望警察對他們開槍---特別是那個要上大學的忍者。他感覺起來是個好孩子。

Within a few minutes, the cops caught the bad robber and made me come down the block to identify him. They brought him to me with his mask off. He scowled at me. "I should've killed you when I had a chance," he said.

很快地，警察抓到了那個拿小刀的壞蛋，要我下來指認。他們把他套頭的襪子拿掉、帶到我面前，他惡狠狠地對我大吼：「我早該殺了你的！」

"That's pleasant," I said.

「很好啊，」我說。

—Ms. Marshall's memoir "My Mother Was Nuts," from which this is excerpted, will be published Sept. 18 by Amazon Publishing/New Harvest. She starred in "Laverne & Shirley" and directed, among other films, "Big" and "A League of Their Own."

---本文節選自馬歇爾女士的回憶錄《My Mother Was Nuts》，九月18日將由亞馬遜/新豐收出版社發行。馬歇爾女士曾演出電視喜劇”Laverne & Shirley”，導演過電影”Big”與”A League of Their Own”。

附註：本文終於結束了！後半部的劇情真是曲折離奇，也轉得太快了吧，一如倚天屠龍記裡某個高手苦練了二十年的功，卻在撒泡尿都還來不及風乾的瞬間就人頭落地了。