Confessions of A Sniper (6)

每日一看---Confessions of A Sniper (6)

進入第六部份了，還剩一點點就結束囉。今天看的是這位狙擊手和他的好友默罕莫德之間的故事；兩人情同手足，卻因站在不同陣線，逼著其中一人對另外一人開槍。在戰場上這種內心煎熬的挑戰時時發生，而這位狙擊手是藉由什麼來說服自己的良心呢？讓我們來看看吧！

Smoke billows from burning tires as a Syrian rebel of the Halab al-Shabah battalion under Al-Tawhid brigade fires towards regime forces during clashes in Al-Amariya district of Aleppo, Nov. 13, 2012.
2012/11/13在阿勒波的歐阿瑪利亞區，政府軍與叛軍 Halab al-Shabah 發生衝突。燃燒的輪胎冒出陣陣濃煙

“We were in school together. We grew up together. His mother was like my mother, that’s how close we were,” he says. The Sniper is pensive, takes several deep breaths and fidgets with his 10-mm handgun as he speaks of his friend, repeatedly flicking off the gun’s safety. The young men joined the army together and stayed in contact even after the Sniper defected. He was the only person outside of the Sniper’s immediate family who knew that he was still alive. “I would tell him to defect, he’d say, ‘Not yet, it’s still early.’ I’d say defect. I told him I’d come and get him, that I would go anywhere to see him, to help him defect, even to the gates of his brigade. Whatever he wanted, wherever he was, I would get him. He kept saying, ‘It’s still early, it’s early.’ He was scared that his family would go through the same thing my family went through.” The Sniper says his family members were interrogated, harassed, ostracized in their community. The only thing that saved them from greater harm, he suspects, was the clout of the loyalist military men in his family and the fact that they thought he was dead, not a defector.

「我們一起上同一個學校，我們一起長大。他媽媽就像我媽媽。我和他就是這麼親。」狙擊手說。他看來哀愁，提及這位朋友時深呼吸好幾次，不斷把玩手中的10釐米手槍，來回撥動保險桿。以前他與默罕莫德一起加入政府軍，雖然後來自己變節了，彼此卻仍保持聯絡。除了狙擊手最親的家人，默罕莫德是唯一知道他還活著的人。「我告訴他，叫他變節。但他說『還不是時候，太早了』。我還是會叫他叛變。我說我會去找他，不論在哪我都會去，就算是到政府軍營的大門，我也願意。但他還是說『太早了，太早了』，他害怕他的家人會和我的一樣。」狙擊手說，他的家族成員曾被審訊、騷擾，也被社區民眾排擠。但他猜測，唯一一個沒讓他們遭受更大危害的因素就是有親戚在政府軍中擔任要職，還有就是大家以為他已經死了，所以不會叛逃。

Mohammad was eventually sent to Azaz, stationed at what was called the Shatt Checkpoint. Both the Sniper and his commander repeatedly urged Mohammad to defect, warning him that they planned to attack the checkpoint. He didn’t listen. “We were three snipers. We killed a colonel, a soldier and my friend. I don’t know which one I killed, I didn’t see their faces. They were soldiers in front of us, and we were ordered to kill them.” That was three months ago.

默罕莫德最後被分派到阿薩茲，駐紮在沙特哨站。狙擊手和他的長官都曾不斷勸他變節，警告他叛軍計畫要攻擊沙特。但默罕莫德不聽。「我們有三個狙擊手，殺了一個上校、一個士兵，還有我朋友。我不曉得我殺了哪一個，我也看不清楚他們的臉。那些人就在我們面前，而我們奉命把他們殺了。」這是三個月前的事了。

“He’s gone anyway, what good is thinking about it? I did — for a long time afterward. I thought, ‘Why? He was my friend. Why did I shoot at him? I shouldn’t have.’ But I have left those thoughts behind me. I have to move forward.”

「不管怎樣他已經走了，一直想這件事有什麼好處？但後來有很長一段時間---我確實這麼做。我那時想，『為什麼？他是我朋友。為什麼我要射他？我不該這麼做的』。但現在我已經把這些想法拋到腦後，我必須往前走。」

Like many men on the front line, the Sniper has found solace in religion, but his is a politicized form of Islam. He speaks admirably of the extremist Jabhat al-Nusra group that has been responsible for some of the most spectacular suicide bombings against regime targets. “They are clean and doing good work,” he says. He wants to join them, if he can “cleanse” his body and mind, he says pointing to a red pack of Gauloises cigarettes. A day later, he quit smoking.

與其他站在前線的人一樣，這位狙擊手在宗教中找到慰藉。不過，他信仰的伊斯蘭教派政治味較濃。提到激進組織加柏罕‧歐努斯拉，狙擊手話中帶敬仰。該組織針對政府，已經發動了多起駭人的自殺式攻擊。「他們心靈純淨，也在做對的事。」狙擊手如此表示。他指著一包紅色的高盧易斯香菸，說如果能「淨化」自己的身心，他想加入那個組織。一天後，他戒菸了。

Syrians carry their rubbish to a mountain of garbage in a roundabout in Aleppo, Nov. 10, 2012. Due the heavy fighting and shelling, the garbage collection system collapsed weeks ago.
2012/11/10敘利亞人民把不要的東西丟到阿勒波市附近的垃圾山。由於激烈的戰爭和空襲，圾垃處理單位幾週前早已解散。