每日一看(中)---What to Do When You're Robbed by Ninjas (part 2)
今天就持續昨天的文章吧~來看看馬歇爾女士怎麼妙語如珠和這些搶匪對話吧
I walked out of my bedroom and
looked in the living room. As I stared across the room, I saw someone run into
the den and try a terrace door, which didn't open.
我走出臥房，朝客廳看了看。在我盯著的同時，我看見有人跑進那裡、想打開往院子的門，但沒開成。
I don't startle easily. I've directed seven movies
and know a thing or two about dealing with unexpected crises.
我沒那麼容易就被嚇到。我導過七部電影，而且懂得應對出乎意料的危機。
Moving methodically, I found the clicker for my
alarm system on top of the bookcase, and just as I did, a guy emerged from the
den. He had a stocking over his head and a knife in his hand. From his stance,
I sensed he was nervous.
巧妙移動，我找到了書架上的警報器按鈕。但就在這一刻，一個傢伙從客廳那裡冒了出來。他整個頭用襪子套住，手上拿著一把刀。看他的站姿，就知道他很緊張。
Another guy then appeared, this one dressed like a
ninja and holding a large sword. That was a nice touch, I thought. They told me
that we had to go to the bedroom, but we were interrupted by the phone. The
first ring caused all of us to freeze and stare at the blinking light. It was the third line, I noticed—the alarm company. I guessed the
clicker had worked.
另一個傢伙也隨後出現了。他穿得像忍者，握著一把劍。那是把不錯的劍，我這麼想。他們告訴我，我們必須到臥室去，但電話鈴響打斷了我們。第一通把我們都給僵住了，大家盯著不斷閃爍的響鈴燈。我發現，那是第三分機---保全公司打來的。我猜大概是警報器起作用了吧。
I picked up the phone and immediately hung it up
again. They glanced at me, then at each other, then back at me. "Otherwise
it'll keep ringing," I said.
我拿起話筒然後馬上掛掉。他們先瞪著我，然後看著彼此，最後又瞪著我。我說：「不然它會一直響。」
Unfortunately for them, I didn't have much in the
house to steal. I had on a necklace and a ring that had been my grandmother's.
The bad robber with the stocking and knife told me to hand over my jewelry.
"I can't," I said. "I'm doing a movie. I wore them on camera. I
have to match in the shots."
真不幸，對他們來說我家沒有太多東西可偷。我那時戴條項鍊和祖母的戒指。那個襪子套頭、拿著小刀的壞蛋要我交出這些珠寶，但我說：「沒辦法。我正在拍一部電影，之前都戴著它們演，所以要有它們才能連貫。」
They exchanged looks, and I suppose, this being Hollywood, they
understood. They grabbed some cameras on a shelf instead. As the bad robber
went to look around the house again, he told his ninja partner something like
"If she moves, kill her." He had watched too many movies.
那兩個搶匪互相使了眼色。我想，這樣的情節有如好萊塢，他們也是知道的。因此，他們一把抓走了擺在架上的幾台相機。那個拿小刀的壞蛋再次環視房間時，跟他的忍者同伙說了「要是她趕動，就殺了她」之類的話。他電影看太多了。
"I'm going to wash this mask off my
face." Then, without waiting for an answer, I went into the bathroom.
「我要去把臉上的厚面膜洗掉。」沒等他們回話，我直接去了浴室。
My ninja robber was surprised when he saw my face.
"Oh, my God," he said. "If we'd known it was you, we never
would've come up."
我的忍者搶匪看見我的臉時，嚇了一跳：「噢天啊！如果我們知道是妳，根本不會闖進來。」
"Well, you can leave anytime," I said.
"Is this going to be your career?"
「哦，你們隨時都可以離開。」我說。「你以後要做這行？」
"No, I'm going to college," he said.
「不，我要唸大學。」他回答。
"So this is just a part-time job?"
「那這算是兼差囉？」
When the phone rang again, the bad robber, now
annoyed, took the ninja's sword and destroyed it, reminding me of John Belushi's Samurai Warrior character. Of course, this being
my life, another extension began to ring. This time it was the police, a Lieutenant So-and-so.
電話鈴又響了。這次，那個拿小刀的壞蛋被惹惱了，把忍者的劍拿過去搗毀，讓我想起Belushi演的日本武士。當然，正如我庸碌的人生，另一個分機又響了。這次是個警察，問些像軍方一樣死板板的問題。
到底這通電話是否決定了那兩個忍者的命運，請聽下回分解xD
附註：寫到這邊，我認為馬歇爾並非真的遇到搶劫，而是想藉由如此滑稽可笑的鬧劇來影射現實生活。美國最近發生了許多槍擊案，其中不乏把自己幻想成電影反派角色的兇手。因此，仔細一想，也就能推出她寫這篇文章的目的了吧。
1. This country has rosy prospects. 這個國家前途光明。
